Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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