I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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