You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
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