rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
