Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
