So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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