I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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