if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
