Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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