The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
