just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
