great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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