so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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