You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
