I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
