I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
