when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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