3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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