Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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