Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize