It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize