I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
