I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
