I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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