I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
