I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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