so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I have feelings that need drinking.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
