You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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