I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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