We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
