He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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