he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize