so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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