he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Are we still banned from the library?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
