Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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