Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize