worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
