TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
where does the pee come out of this thing
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
