it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
