Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize
