Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
