We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My vagina is officially offended.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
