Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
