i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
