I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
