Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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