I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
