know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize