Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
