it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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