I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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