then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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