in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
it's not cheating when I paid for it
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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