so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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