Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize