Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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