Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
