all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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