Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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