Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
