so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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