so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
