He is an equal opportunity slut.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
