don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
