he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
