he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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