Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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